Wearing an insulin pump isnt "just" wearing an insulin pump, its the part I dislike about being attached to it every single moment of my life. I cannot manage my Diabetes without this amazing device, without it I go low and high and high and low and no rhyme or reason because on an insulin syringe there is no .30 units or .65 units. These are examples of my hourly basal rates. Those are the reasons why I cant do Diabetes without this insulin pump.
I dislike and even somedays hate what it means to wear this thing. People assume you wear a pump and your Diabetes is just whhhaaallllaaaaa super easy, fixed, or the oppostie....and the dreaded comment.....You must have Diabetes REAL BAD. Even those things arent the number one thing that bothers me. I hate what this thing does to my skin, its appearance, texture, smoothness, pain, sores, scabs, stabbing pain....etc etc.
There is no sugar coating it, it makes my skin look like crap. The sides of my hip/butt and my love handles are dotted with scars. I look like a leopard. I use Bio Oil to help heal the infusion holes, help fade the scars but they are still there. For my skin it takes years for these dots to fade totally. I still have scars from my childhood and even some of them have just faded. Thats 20 years ago, 20 years.
Not everyone's skin heals the same or scars the same, but that is how my skin is. I cannot help but wonder, what will my skin look like after Ive worn this pump for over 20 years? Will I be able to even wear it? I cannot use my stomach area, my legs or arms at all. The pain is unbearable and yet Ive only met a handful of people who also have this terrible burning pain when they use those areas. I have such a limited amount of skin real estate to use. I cant help but worry.
Please someone out there find a cure for this disease.
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