In my blog postings and feelings I am representing my Diabetes and no ones elses'. My life with this disease may not be the same as anyone elses'. In my real life, day to day I dont ever hardly speak about it unless I am given the opportunity to help another Diabetic find a good doctor. Or tell them about my life saving insulin pump or dexcom.
These things are not fun, but it isnt terrible. Do I love having all this crap on me. No. But it helps me live better.
My Diabetes, my diabetes can be a bear to control. My lows can be intense and come out of no where. My lows drive me insane. So much so that somedays Id rather run high. Then there are the days when I forget my insulin because my baby is screaming and I go high as a kite. Yeah its my fault but if my pancreas worked I wouldnt have that extra worry and stress and see that ugly number staring back at me. Its not an excuse, its the truth.
I dont feel as though I should be ridiculed for my feelings and thoughts, yet I am. These are my feelings, not anyone elses. I know my postings help other Diabetics not feel so alone. I get your emails.
I dont walk around moping and depressed because of my Diabetes but I do go here to vent and by doing so others dont feel like they feel this way and no one else does, because no one else wants to read what it really feels like somedays. I dont feel like I have a black cloud over my head. Just certain moments in time feel that way. So I vent because of whatever reason.
I know a lot of other Diabetics want to act like all is peachy and perfect but it isnt but I also dont think about that sort of thing 24/7 just certain moments in time.
Ive been called a lot of things in my life and my personality is my personality. Take it or leave it, if you dont like it, dont come back. One thing I can never be called is a liar. I state the truth and thats that. I think sugar coating is stupid and a waste of time.
So when I ask people to share a video of a 7 year old child with Diabetes it shouldnt cause a big war. That 7 year old boys diabetes is a lot like mine. I want a cure and I want a normal life without Diabetes. I guess that is too much to ask or put in front of people. That is how my Diabetes makes me feel. I am like that 7 year old in the way that I hate the stares and the looks like I am some sort of freak. Maybe they dont bother you, but they bother me.
Asking people to show their support for Diabetes Awareness doesnt seem too much to ask does it?