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Wednesday, March 4, 2015
Diabetes, can you just cut me some slack?
My Diabetes is apparently at war against me again. Shortly after I first started pumping insulin in 2008 my infusion sets started to hurt me tremendously and I almost gave up using an insulin pump until my CDE (aka life saver) Calli told me to try angled sets. She saved my sanity even though it probably took me a good year to get down inserting that giant needle by hand and at the right depth, but its been mostly smooth sailing since then.
That was 7 years ago and now I am back to my infusion sets killing me again. I am at a total loss for what to do, except change them out every 2 days, which might make me crazy. Just the thought of needing 5 more sets a month and the cost makes me sick. Not only that but poking yet another hole into my skin and another scar that will take months to years to fade. FIVE more scars a month to heal, I already look part Cheetah as it is. I have this insanely tough skin, genetics I guess, and as it is I have to push very hard to get the needle to pierce my skin. I also form scar tissue relatively quickly/easily and now my body is forming a nice painful bump in just two days instead of at least four. I have very visible scars from my childhood=20+ years ago. How in the world am I expected to use an insulin pump for The Rest Of My Life?
I even went as far as to brave getting a set in my left arm (right arm has Dexcom on it) all by myself (I am left handed) yesterday to let my sides and sides of my hips rest completely. I have a nice painful pump on each side of my body right now and now again at 24 hours my brand new not used in many years arm site it hurting and boluses burn like acid is going into my tissue. -insert huge disappointed face and feelings of total failure- I am unable to use my abdomen at all because those places are incredibly painful and burn the entire time, so not worth it to deal with that pain, I have tried. I was a very angry irritated person the entire time because of the constant burning sensation.
I am just at a loss. I will get out my Hibiclens again and see if that will help my issue, it seemed to help me years ago. I am pretty sure it is not an infection type issue, what do you guys think? Could it be my body is just fighting the sets more quickly and that's causing my pain? Or is it scar tissue? Ah, I just don't know. I just am so upset over all of this crap all over again.
Im so tired of having to deal with this and I have a really long road ahead of me with Diabetes.
Why can't they just give us a damn cure already?
Being thrown back into Diabetes burn out/disappointment related to having this disease was not something I had marked on my calendar for the month of March.