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Monday, March 10, 2014

I think someone switched my insulin with water today.

Seriously.  Water.  My blood sugar will not come down below 300 no matter what I do today.  This makes for a fun day when my fuse is cut in half and my head is killing me and Im pretty sure the only thing that kept me from puking today was staying busy, walking around taking pics of cars for the website.  I dont even want to know what my ketone level was today.

I am trying to concentrate on the things people are saying to me but it kind of sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown.  Whaw whaw whaw whaw, all kind of runs together.  I am trying so hard to concentrate and it just isnt happening.  I hate that. 

I hate high blood sugar.  It makes me feel like crap.  My mouth is dry no matter how much water I drink, my head is killing me and I cannot stop yawning.  I feel like I look like a fool, I cant stop yawning.

Don't you wonder why you have days when your blood sugar just wont come down?  I thought my pump site had not gone bad because I would be at 500 by now if it had, right?  I am wondering if the absorption has decided to go to crap, I was on day two of my site. Came home and changed it. No kinks in the plastic cannula but I do have a nice big bump under my skin and it hurts. This is what I hate about pumping.

For whatever awesome reason my body decided to go all crazy attack mode on my infusion site. So now I have a nice painful lump, it will be gone in a week or so but it doesn't help me feel any better about it. These are the moments my anxiety puts the pedal to the metal and I want to bash my pump into a million pieces with a hammer. Just beat the living crap out of it because it causes me so much pain. Then to top it off my pump site change tonight was terrible. 30 minutes to put another one in. Yep. 30. Why my skin has to be tough as a cow hide is beyond me but trying to shove the awesome 15mm or so needle into my skin isn't fun. It hurts. I do still cry sometimes. I don't have any other choices though. I have to get it in and in somewhere where I don't put it in a blood vessel because then it back flows into the cannula and I can never get the blood to clear back out so I have to rip it off and start over again with a new infusion set. These are the downfalls to pumping, for me. 

Shots are not an option. I cannot manage my crazy insulin sensitivity on shots, half doses on a syringe are too much. Shots give me HUGE bruises. I took one correction shot last night on my side, huge bruise. HUGE. I don't ever bruise for any other reason but insulin injections. No idea why. Its insane. Totally insane. 

And now Dexcom is telling me I'm back up to 300. Are you freaking kidding me?!  I'm done. Stick a fork in me I'm done fighting this freaking battle today! Que the headache and nausea. 

Then I wake up this morning at......drum roll......59!  Good ole Dexter is getting replaced today. It only alarmed when I was below 90. Nada after that! Not good. 

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