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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Diabetic Burnout...I feel it knocking on my door

I am having one of those months.  I am sick and freakin tired of being Diabetic.  I am sick of my blood sugar swings.   I am sick of being so sensitive to insulin that taking my daughter to the doctor by myself warranted eating glucose tablets, I am sick of glucose tablets, because I had to carry her.  Its stupid, I hate it. I am so sick of low blood sugars that its driving me insane.  I have tweaked my t:slim pump settings and I have got them all pretty darn nailed down, but then you throw in a side of life and WHAM I get hit with my Dexcom alarming, you are dropping, you are low, you are REALLY LOW 55!!  Glucose tablets, juice boxes, crackers, all those extra calories that I really didnt plan on eating that day, well there goes the waistline.  So during meal times I barely eat anything for the  most part because if I did eat a normal sized meal I would gain weight because of all those extra calories for lows.

I think I might be having a Dexcom info overload.  Watching my bg spike after every meal is really starting to drive me nuts.  I watch it go up and then come down and sometimes the down part takes to long so I get mad and then I override my pump correction and then I go low.  JEESH.  Well if I dont override it I will just sit higher than I want to be after a meal but then I cause a low no. matter. what!   If I just didnt have to eat my blood sugars would be perfect all day everyday, but then I would die from starvation.  Maybe I do need to start eating super low carb, but that food is so gosh darn boring, I may die from boredom and not only that, but family gatherings and going out to eat become torture for my will power.  

Where is that darn cure! 

I do know that I could not survive without my Dexcom and t:slim insulin pump.  Shots and long acting insulin are just not my friends.

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