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Monday, August 26, 2013

Waiting for my blood sugar to make up its mind. So annoying.

So Im sitting here in my bed, I want to go to sleep as Im exhausted. Instead I have to stay awake and wait for my blood sugar to decide if it wants to keep crashing or if its going to stay the same or its going to rise. Stupid, I hate it, Im tired, I want to sleep. Every single person and animal in my house is asleep but me. Dexcom was showing arrow angled down, now its arrow angled upward and I have no idea why. Again, stupid. Where is that damn artificial/bionic/dual pumping pancreas thing already? Son of a ***** I am so sick and tired of doing the job of an organ that decided to go on vacation. I want a vacation from managing this beast. Some day I just want to win this battle and be done. Life mixed in with all its craziness makes managing this disease so difficult at times. I just want to be a normal mom, not one that has to find her husband or lay her baby down to go get a freakin juice box, or one that has to go inside to get a freakin juice box, or quit doing whatever activity that requires physical exertion and get a freakin juice box. I am SO SICK OF JUICE BOXES AND FRUIT SNACKS AND GLUCOE TABLETS!!!! I mean I cant even walk around and hold my baby because it makes my blood sugar crash no matter what I try. Yeah I can set a temp basal but the insulin I got 2-4 hours ago is still actively kicking diabetes in the arse so itll cause me to go low. I want a more rapid insulin with less active time. I want an insulin that works in 15 minutes and is outta my system in 30 minutes, that would give so much more freedom for those of us who are so sensitive to it. Don't get me wrong pumping has made my life so much easier but Im ready for even more easy.  I. Am. So. Sick. Of. Diabetes. So sick of it and yet I have so many many many more years of fighting it, looking forward seems like mount Everest, I want to instead see the hill in my back yard, I really wish these scientist would hurry up...they say 4-6 more years before the pump that self regulates you. I'm hoping and praying for it, its all we have to look forward to as type 1 diabetics.

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